Tag Archives: social anxiety disorder

Our Families 2012 Vision Board

Over at “Our Journey Thru Autism” there was a post the other day about making a “Vision Board”. Do you make resolutions? Are your kids old enough? I personally don’t like calling them resolutions because I find the term not very optimist; instead we call them “Goals”. So when I saw the post I thought it would be a great way to ring in the new year and put an optimist perspective into 2012. The kids and I grabbed a big piece of board, pulled out the markers, felt stickers, glue sticks, old magazines and proceeded to figure out what we want to achieve both personally and as a family. We took everybody’s height measurement and the kids decided to do a little stick figure for each of us. We discovered that I am 5’3 1/2″ and my little boy is not so little any more he’s already 5′ 1″. So, for this year we deemed the year, “The Year of Magic” and I believe it will be magical. So here’s a sneak peak of what our board looked like and thank you so much to “Our Journey Thru Autism” for posting such a great activity for the whole family.
Here’s a little description of what a “Vision Board” is and ideas to get you started. If you do engage in this wonderful family activity please feel free to share pictures with us. What a great memory for 2012.

Vision Board for 2012

From “Our Journey Thru Autism” by Robin V Schwoyer
The kids are off. A new year is upon us. What to do now that the presents are all opened? How about making a Vision Board with your kids? A vision board is a collage of pictures, words, affirmations, goals and anything you would like to achieve or receive.

Better than the Breakable Resolution
We hear a lot about New Year Resolutions…and much about people not keeping them. What we have found fun to do is to create Vision Boards, or sometimes we call them Dream Boards. These creative projects are more useful than resolutions, simply because they tap into deeper parts of your self as you ponder and create. It’s a whole brain activity which is also multi-sensory, versus a left brained check list of to-do’s and not to-do’s.

A “Whole Family” Activity
You can make Vision Boards with the whole family. The board becomes a positive reminder of things like:
What do I want to learn this year?
What makes me smile?
What is a “crazy” fun thing I would like to do?
What can I do to make someone else happy?
How would I like to spend time with family and friends?
What are good values?
What do I love about nature?
How can I stay peaceful?
What are healthy things I can do?
What goals do I have for 2012?

Read the full article

Bells are ringing, children singing well not all of them

‘Tis the season to be jolly. But if you have anxiety the festive season is more of a whirlwind of tears and the unexpected. I have to admit the season has become much more magical over the last few years but it still comes with it’s share of overwhelming sights and sounds that can sometimes lead us down a very bah hum bug kind of place. As adults it is easy to forget just how stimulating the season can be. Most of us are so busy with presents and wrapping and up to our eyeballs in lists that we have little time to listen to the sometimes silent pleas and cries for calm from our children. We overwhelm them with expectations and behaviours that they aren’t always able to cope with and we need to sometimes take a step back and give everyone a little bit of breathing room so that magic has a chance to seep in.

Tips from our house to yours:

Pace your visits – at this time of year we feel compelled to reach out to everyone, go to every party and make rounds two or three times in a day. We make sure that if we have two or three events in one weekend we sometimes have to choose. Sometimes we all go, sometimes half of us go and sometimes we may enjoy an afternoon or evening on our own. It really is whatever works because it makes in the moment so much nicer. Now we don’t miss out because of behaviour we simply acknowledge that it can be too much and take it as it comes.

Opening Presents in front of others – It is not uncommon that the kids get a little something from people as we travel around from event to event and for an anxious child the eyes staring and glaring at you waiting for their reaction is too much so years ago I let go of the idea that my child would tear open the package in anticipation of the beauty that lies inside. No instead my child is the kind of child that would prefer to go and discover the goodies by herself. It’s like a treasure and it doesn’t mean she’s ungrateful for it she just need some space. As long as they acknowledge the person who gave it to her and thanks them for it there is no reason to push if it brings them to tears.

Thank you for your gifts – As mentioned above up until the last year or two we didn’t have a furry of unwrapping going on over here so in return for peoples gifts we made sure that thank you cards were given. In her own way and with her own imagination and creativity we have given back so many beautiful cards of thanks. It puts a sense of ownership in her actions by letting her create the card that shows her gratitude.

Hugging and Kissing – Let’s face it as adults we aren’t all touchy feely and neither are children. Anxious children are just as caring and loving but it comes out in many different ways. We don’t push the hugs and kisses because affection can be shown in many other ways. My anxious child is very aware of surroundings and is very much aware of other people’s energy and if she is feeling ambivalent I acknowledge that. I am often reminded of a quote in the book “The Highly Sensitive Child by Elaine N. Aron“.

Third, introverted HSCs so not “dislike people”. Introverts simply prefer being with one or two close friends rather than in large groups or meeting strangers. Another way to think of introverts is that they prefer to step back and reflect on what they encounter; extroverts prefer to rush forward.” (page 26 of the Highly Sensitive Child)

For our family that is exactly what happens. We reflect on the encounter and the next time we are with that person or in that environment than we may experience a more touchy, feely moment. Until then we don’t push it.

Meltdown or as I like to call it “Processing – My children like me are “aware”. What I mean by “aware” is that they realize their bodies and minds are connected and that the feelings they experience are a direct result of what’s happening around them. Realizing that their reactions give them very defined feelings has helped them not fear certain reactions that their body is telling them.

That anxious feeling or fear/worry that happens just before we are going somewhere new we have figured out manifests itself by:

  • butterflies in the stomach
  • feeling dizzy
  • heart racing
  • nausea
  • shaking hands

Similarly, that feeling of excitement and anticipation of an event manifests itself by:

  • butterflies in the stomach
  • heart racing
  • shaking hands
  • feeling the need to move

This awareness of feelings is a wonderful thing and at the end of these overstimulating days there is usually some “processing” involved . Be it good stress or bad stress our bodies still need to get through it and for us this usually ends up in some tears regardless if they are tears of joy or sadness. As parents we need to allow this time to “process” the days events and not be upset or frustrated. That’s the time when an extra long cuddle or telling a story can go such a long way.

Christmas time is a time of reflection, colours, lights, sounds and tastes and it encapsulates all of our senses. It is a time of tradition, excitement and wonderment. It is also a time of peaceful reflection and each of us experience the holidays differently within ourselves. This Christmas find time to listen to not only the Christmas carol but your anxious child, find peace in a quiet room away from the crowd while the music softly plays in the background and embrace a moment. New traditions can be forged so don’t be so afraid to rattle the old ones and discover and redefine new ones. But most of all enjoy the season and enjoy your children because the season really goes by in a flash.

University of Southern California “Facing Mental Illness”

Mental Health Awareness Week may be over but the things we learn about mental health never stops. Take a look at this infographic that helps raise awareness and informs us of the startling facts. It’s not just during mental health week that we need to pay attention and focus on our most important organ; our brains.

Mental Illness Awareness Week 2011 Infographic
Brought to you by MSW@USC Masters in Social Work

What’s in your “toolbox”

I’ve got a great blog post at S-O-S Research today. I am talking about our “toolbox” and a great book that I have recently rediscovered; Your Anxious Child: How Parents and Teachers Can Relieve Anxiety in Children by John S. Dacey and Lisa B. Fiore. If you have a chance head on over and check out the full article.

“Too many times we stand aside and let the waters slip away, till what we put off till tomorrow has now become today. So don’t you sit upon the shoreline and say you’re satisfied. Choose to chance the rapids and dare to dance the tide.” (Source: Thinkexist.com)

Books on Anxiety

Over the years I have had plenty of books suggested to me about how to raise my anxious child. Some have been full of wonderful information and helped me have those aha moments while others, well – others left me slightly confused and feeling a little scared about the future for both my child and myself.

Then there are the books I have mulled through over the course of the years, but at the time I found that the content wasn’t appropriate for us. All of the strategies were for children older than ours and the concepts were a little out of reach.

Read the full article

Do you know when your child has had enough?

Slow down and everything you are chasing will come around and catch you. ~John De Paola

I love this quote because it completely encapsulates last night and this morning. We have had an extraordinary week. Sydney got the award, she completed three tests in three days and I heard that she worked so hard on all of them, she had a supply teacher for Wednesday and Thursday, she played outside with the neighbouring kids taking herself out of her comfort zone many times. She’s just spent 5 days doing amazing things. So does it surprise me that yesterday morning she woke up crying and begging me to have a rest because she was just “so tired”? Not at all. Does it surprise me that I had to help her with every task yesterday morning in order to get her out the door? Not at all. Do you want to know what does surprise me?

She was in such a state yesterday morning that I thought for sure I would not be able to get her out the door but we did. I was sure that when we got to school she would not go into the classroom because there was a supply teacher, but after a quick talk with the teacher to inform her of her hesitance and tears and she did. She didn’t want to go to school today because she wanted a break but she had a celebration for the good work that they’ve done and that was a tricky situation for her to manoeuvre around but she did and with a smile on none the less.

The quote that I found this morning reminds us that you don’t have to be going warp speed in order to find some amazing things. Yes, eventually all of these amazing things that Sydney has done will become just second nature but for now having a week full of such success also means that the physical effort on her body has been extreme. This is how I know when my child has had enough.

Physical Signs:

  • Bags under the eyes
  • Tripping over their own two feet
  • Fidgety
  • Inability to concentrate
  • Crying

Verbal Cues:

  • Stuttering
  • Aggressive talking back
  • Negative self talk

Everyone’s breaking point is different and everyone’s tolerance for stress is innately different too so it is absolutely critical that I acknowledge and address these signs that a “break” is in order. What that “break” consists of will fluctuate depending on the circumstances but it is up to us as parents to realize just how much effort goes into these successes. So tonight perhaps we watch a movie with popcorn and lots of snuggles, maybe in the morning breakfast in bed might be in order. Whatever we decide the idea is to slow things down, to bring a sense of tranquillity and peace back into her overly sensitive nervous system. To recap the week and put into perspective all the achievements and it is my pleasure to do that because she is so worth it.

What are your child’s signs of overwhelming stress?

Powered by WordPress | Designed by: best suv | Thanks to toyota suv, infiniti suv and lexus suv