The Raising Socially Anxious Children Blog

admin December 22nd, 2009

I loathe the expression “What makes him tick.” It is the American mind, looking for simple and singular solution, that uses the foolish expression. A person not only ticks, he also chimes and strikes the hour, falls and breaks and has to be put together again, and sometimes stops like an electric clock in a thunderstorm.
  – James Thurber

As many of you have noticed that over the past month or two there has been little activity on the blog. I have not given up on my committement to make things better for my daughter nor have I lost my focus. No, instead I have much like the above quote broken a little bit and needed to be put back together. Seems like my daughter is not the only one who is having to challenge the anxiety monster. I have always suffered from anxiety attacks and since September my past has caught up with me and made me take some time to sort some things out for myself. I’ve been given the opportunity to look into myself and the way I tick and chime in efforts to help my daughter out there.

This has been an incredible year for both the blog and myself. This year the blog has:

• Been host to some amazing woman who have shared their insight with us such as Ruth Hartman, Jan Lundy and Ruth Hix and Chynna Laird.
• Been selected to be one of the Top 100 at the Baby and Children’s Blog.
• Had a first ever “Blog Contest” where Iris the Dragon books were given away.
• Attended the Parents for Children’s Mental Health conference.
• A wonderful article was written in the Toronto Star by Andrea Gordon on early intervention for children.
• Presented at the annual Parents Information Conference for the Halton Catholic School Board.

For myself I have had the chance to put “me” back together. In the struggle to make things better for Sydney I lost a bit of myself. A panic attack back in September landed me in the hospital and things have been changing a little bit each day since. Don’t worry for the better.  I feel priveleged and honoured to have gotten so many wonderful emails from friends and strangers thanking me for what I do and I must admit I feel a little guilty that I’ve just sort of dropped off the blogging world. I’m sure all parents but especially parents that are raising children with challenges know we must take care of ourselves first and foremost because without us where would we be? I’ve enlisted the help of naturopaths, chiropractors and the therapist from ROCK (as we go through the second phase of the trauma session group). Each one of these individuals I consider to be like Angels that have been placed tenderly in front of me to help me be a stronger more whole and well individual. Everyone knows when we feel good inside great things can happen and that is exactly what I plan to do.

Great things will come in the New Year trust me.

So, as the end of the year draws closer I want to wish you all the best of the season no matter which celebration you engage in. I want to ensure you that the blog will continue and I will do my best to find great things and resources for all of us. The one thing I ask is that you as the parent or the one suffering from anxiety or any other mental health issue be kind to yourself and know that we all have within us a great power and vitality to live. We just as the quote says, “chime, break and sometimes stop” but that doesn’t mean the end it just means that temporarily our path changes but once we’re back on track we have life ahead of us, and the possibilities are incrediable.

Merry Christmas and all the best of 2010.

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admin January 29th, 2009

It is with great pleasure that I welcome Ruth to my blog today. I wish her great success with the book and thank her very much for joining us.

“My Baby Has What?”

That was my mom’s response when my doctor told her I had separation anxiety. How, she wondered, was that possible? With two parents and three much older siblings, my feet never touched the floor. But that was only the beginning.

Shortly after my 27th birthday, I was diagnosed with severe Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Up until that point, my family and I just assumed my peculiar thoughts and behavior were “normal” for me.

They always commented on how I worried about everything. “You’re just like your grandpa,” they would say. I did worry about everything. In kindergarten, I was terrified I wouldn’t be promoted to first grade because I was having trouble learning to tie my shoes. At age eight I was admitted to the hospital for tests on my stomach. I’d had a stomachache every day of my life. All the test came back negative. The diagnosis? “Nerves.” said the doctor. “You just have a nervous kid.” But what does a parent do with that? And back then no one did anything about “nerves” or “worries.”

At age nine, I was sure I had cancer, and would die soon. I can vividly remember playing in the yard, having that thought. I looked down at my ankle. Is that where it would start? Would my leg turn black and fall off? Thankfully, that never happened! But the thought gripped me and stuck with me for months.

Along with the worries came depression, although back in the sixties, no one ever addressed it. It was taboo to even discuss it. But, looking back I can clearly see that’s what was going on in my head. I always wondered why my family enjoyed everything so much more than I did. And yet, I was always the one who looked forward to things the most. But somehow, when the family dinner, party, or get-together arrived, it never turned out like the perfect picture in my head. It was always off somehow. Definitely lacking.

But we all assumed that’s just how I was. And frankly, I didn’t know any other way to be.

Out of the four children in my family, I seemed to get the bulk of the negative thought processes. My sister and two brothers didn’t seem to be bothered by stomachaches, shyness, bouts of crying, or fear of the unknown. They weren’t terrified of going to school, that their parent’s would die and leave them, or that no one, ever, would love them enough to marry them when they grew up.

The OCD didn’t noticeably rear its ugly head into my life until my twenties. Sometimes I wonder, if we’d known where I was headed, if its effects could have been lessened somehow. Maybe if I’d been diagnosed with depression as a child, I might have been spared the severity of it later. We’ll never know. The good news is, I’m so much better now! With my psychiatrist’s care, and taking daily Prozac, my life is now happy, healthy, and calm. The good news for your child is: now issues such as OCD, depression, and anxiety are more readily discussed. There are more treatments available. Parents have many, many more resources to help them. So, if your child exhibits any of these problems, take heart. There is help for them!

Please visit Ruth’s website or you can email her. The book is only available directly from the publisher (you can purchase via their website or by email).

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admin January 26th, 2009

Stopping by our blog first is Ruth J. Hartman. Let’s learn more about this talented writer and catch her post here on January 29th, 2009.

Ruth J. Hartman was once “normal.” She perceived the world around her as any other person would-until she turned 27. That’s when Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) dug in its claws and refused to let her go. Her world (and her family’s) was turned inside out.

Working as a dental hygienist was difficult enough, but trying to balance her work life with the challenges of OCD was overwhelming. Ruth’s family, friends, and co-workers didn’t understand why she suddenly acted so bizarre. She wanted to help them understand, but she couldn’t. She didn’t understand it herself.

My Life in Mental Chains is moving and tragic, yet in the end, it’s an uplifting story of personal faith and inner strength. Ruth’s insight will be a great comfort to OCD sufferers, their families, and their friends.

Ruth graduated from the Indiana University School of Dentistry with a degree in Science/Dental Hygiene. Her interest in writing, which began in high school, led her to earn her diploma from the Institute of Children’s Literature in “Writing for Children and Teenagers.”

She lives in rural Indiana with her husband and two cats.

Visit her website, or you can email her.

My Life in Mental Chains by Ruth J. Hartman
Published by Pipers’ Ash Ltd., $13.00
Publication Date: November 1, 2008
Non-Fiction, True-Life Story Chapbook
ISBN# 9781906928001

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admin January 24th, 2009

Just a reminder everyone that the blog tour takes off on Thursday January 29th, 2009 with Ruth Hartman author of “My life in chains – My struggle with obsessive compulsive disorder”.

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admin January 19th, 2009

Have you ever heard of a blog tour? Well, neither had I until a couple weeks ago. I was approached by a wonderful group of ladies who run a website called, wow-womenonwriting.

A blog tour is similar to an author’s book tour, but it’s hosted online, instead of at, say, a bookstore. The touring author visits a number of blogs (otherwise known as “blog stops”) over a set period–typically, a month.

Authors use this format to buzz their book, connect with readers, and have fun! It’s a wonderful way to network with a readership the author might never get to meet in “real” life. For instance, this tour takes us across the U.S. and to Canada, all in one month! Even the most gregarious traveler couldn’t conquer that much territory in such a short time. But it’s not about the territory covered, it’s about the interesting people you meet along the way.

I have the pleasure of hosting three of these wonderful authors throughout the months of January and February. Each author shares some topics that I think would be of interest to you. Here are the dates and upcoming authors and be sure to check back to see what wonderful things they have to say. As well if you get a chance and are an aspiring author be sure to go to the WOW website and poke around. There is lots of great informaton and you can see which authors you’re most interested in.

January 29: Ruth Hartman

February 6: Jan Lundy

February 16: Kim Hix

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