It is my pleasure to have Janice Lynne Lundy here to guest blog. I thank you very much Janice for taking the time to come to my blog. If you have any questions or comments we’d love to hear from you. Enjoy!
The first time I wrote publicly about my journey through personal anxiety was within the pages of my new book, Your Truest Self. The second is here, today, with all of you. Surprised? I am, too, but delightedly so. And because anxiety can be a familial pattern, I’ve also walked this bumpy road with each of my three children, as well.
A diagnosis of anxiety/panic disorder by a naturopathic physician drove me kicking and screaming into uncovering my truest self. Our truest self is someone who is naturally peaceful, confident, joyful, and courageous. Someone who lives with equanimity, clarity of mind, and openness of heart, with compassion for one’s self and others. These qualities, or virtues, appear to be linked with “spirit”—our essence—and it is our life’s purpose to reclaim them and live as our whole and “holy” self. I came to understand, in fact, that I was not living as my truest self at all, as long as I allowed anxiety, fear, and worry to predominate my days. And they did.
‘So, what did you do to change all that?’ you might ask. Very simply, I stopped. I slowed down the pace of my life and began to look inward. More than anything I wanted to be a peaceful woman. I’d had enough of anxious living! To live in a healthy, new way must be our heartfelt desire if we hope to make the shift from anxious to “aware.” It has been a journey of ten or more years for me to make this shift. It was done gently, one small step at a time. I believe it can be so for any of us.
We can begin by educating ourselves, then implementing, practices that calm, nurture, and sustain us. In my book, I present twelve Transformational Truths for living, accompanied by a dozen “Peaceful Pauses” for embodying them. The third Truth, for example, presented with the assistance of New York Times’ bestselling author, Iyanla Vanzant is: I Choose Thoughts and Feelings That Honor My Sacred Self.
By learning to be our own “observer,” as this Truth espouses, we can begin to befriend our wild mind and subdue its swirling thoughts and emotions. We learn to calm ourselves with practices sourced in the world’s wisdom traditions, including: mindfulness, breath work, sacred movement or yoga, walking meditation, or prayer.
Over the years, I’ve experimented with many of these, eventually arriving at those that brought greater peace of mind and body. With newfound calm, came clarity, and my life took a dramatic turn for the better. With clarity, came insight and wisdom, and soon I found myself on a path of profound spiritual awakening. In time, my anxiety was transformed and, to this day, only pays a brief visit now and then.
My children are now 18-26, full-fledged adults, and we never stop dialoging about strategies for non-anxious living. They are gradually exploring the Truths for themselves (at mom’s urging, of course!) finding what works for them. They are observing, listening, and making powerful new life choices, one small step at a time. I see them becoming calmer, clearer, wiser. For that I am deeply grateful.
Today, it seems I best support my children’s ongoing healing journeys by offering them non-anxious presence. And, yet, I can only be as present to them as I am to myself. This means I must continue to do good “inner work”; accessing inner calm, confidence, and joy on a regular basis so that I can be of benefit to others. My heartfelt desire for myself, my children, and everyone I meet is that we will embrace our wholeness, and live as our truest selves — the divine and glorious beings we are meant to be.
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I’ve been following Jan for the past few days and I must say I learn something each time I read about her. I can hardly wait to get my book. I’ve set the day aside to just read her book, cover to cover. I can hardly wait.
Jo Ann Hernandez
http://bronzeword.wordpress.com
Jan,
Do you feel that your being a calmer person has had an influence on your children(especially when they were younger and living in your home)? Do our children reflect our anxieties?
Good morning, all,
) on a very important issue. I am here at my desk, ready to address any questions you might have.
I am glad to be at this wonderful blogsite this morning, available to serve as a resource (or a sounding board
For the record, all three of my children have been diagnosed with anxiety as I have. Two of them with mood disorders as well. These two do take medication. The third is not medicated for anxiety. Each of them uses techniques for inner calm, including exercise, and a healthy (natural) diet is encouraged. Their lives have improved by leaps and bounds and, now, only on rare occasions do they have significant episodes.
With that said, may your journey into healing be fruitful and blessed.
Jan
Hi Jodi,
Wonderful question? Yes! Absolutely. When we have a child with any sort of “disorder, “even ADHD, for example, the more calm and clear we are ourselves, the better. For 3 reasons.
1.) Our children can take on our energy, very much so. If we are irritated or stressed, they can easily absorb and/or mirror it back to us. I’ve seen this with my children consistently over the years. If they are “spinning” as I call it, and if I am spinning too, we have nothing but a 3 ring circus going on! Who is the MC? No one…
2.) Which leads me into #2. Someone has to stay calm and clear and that is our job as parents, to be the “adult,” to steer the boat. An out-of-control passenger cannot see clearly enough to navigate for themselves. We are also like the beacon, shining the light so our loved one can stabilize and find their way home.
3.) Our children look to us as role models. We set the tone for how we respond to all of life. If we are a “freak out” kind of parent when things go wrong, our kids will be too.
Finally, yes, my ability to be non-anxious presence has definitely rubbed off on my children. Now that they are “adults” they can see more clearly how this has positively impacted them. I am still their beacon in many situations, the “homing signal” by which they find their way back to center when they cannot do so for themselves. I say that humbly, and thankfully, that I am still able to be that for them….Perhaps as a parent, I always will.
Hope this helps!
Blessings,
Jan
Hi Joanne,
Nice to see you again. I look forward to being with you on your blog next week! We all have so many stories to tell! We learn more and more about each other as we journey on…Sharing our stories also helps one another heal, don’t you agree?
Blessings to you,
Jan
Hi again,
I did not want to forget to mention that my book is available in Canada through http://www.josephinspirational.ca.
In the UK, it is available through:
amazon.co.uk &
albanbooks.com
I am curious…
What specific practices do any of YOU use to maintain inner calm, especially for non-anxious presence with others?
Thank you for having me as a guest today. Please keep up the good work supporting families who have to deal with these “disorders.” We all need all the help we can get!
Blessings,
Jan Lundy
http://www.awakenedliving.com
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