Christmas is a time when you get homesick – even when you’re home.”
Carol Nelson quotes

I have the most of my presents wrapped, we just had our annual friends get-together, the mushrooms are soaking for the soup, I spent the other day at a good friends house making cabbage rolls and Christmas looms ever closer. So many things at this time of year are reminescent of Christmas past for me. When I was making pierogi the other day the sweet smell of the dough brought me back to the kitchen table with my mom and aunt as the cold winds blowed the steam fogged up the windows and the sweet smell of dough reminded me that it was almost time for Christmas.

Today when I strained the stock and prepared the mushrooms it reminded me of years ago when a package from Poland would hold a secret treasure to the winter brew. In my mothers hand would lye a brown package with a fragrance so woody and unusual that it to brought me closer to the big day.

I have tried to carry on all of these family traditions and hope that one day my children too will be able to look back at Christmas past as fondly as I do and remember “what mom used to make”.
The quote I found today rings so true because even though it is my house, my grandmothers bowl, my mom’s recipe that does not have a written rule as you just felt if the ingredients were right or not and I sometimes get homesick. I miss those who are not at my table and miss the fact that my daughter and son will not have Christmas traditions with my family, my mom and dad.

What I do revel in are the friendship that are so near and dear to me and those around me that make me feel like I belong. This year at Christmas has been a bit of a eye-opener as to how the year has gone. When usually I have all the presents wrapped and under the tree by mid-december I still things to wrap today. When normally the task of making pierogi and having friends over thrills me this year the sheer thought of it made me tired. I opted for a e-friendly computer Christmas card partially because I wanted to be eco friendly and partially because I didn’t have it in me to write out all those cards.

Although this year has been full of such strides and such highs and such progress it has been exhausting and I now realize just how tired I am. The lack of structure has been fantastic as it has allowed me to sleep in this morning, spend time with the kids that didn’t involve coaxing into the usual battles. I even hid in the tunnel that the kids made on the weekend and Ehren and I had a little heart to heart enveloped in the crisp white snow.

This year has brought me closer to some people and farther away from others. It’s allowed me to grow and realize just which direction I want life to go. It’s made my relationship with my children stronger and given my husband and I an opportunity to figure out where we stand as a couple. It’s introduced me to so many people that I would otherwise not have come into contact with and given me a chance to help others even if it’s been in a small way.

I am homesick for the Chrismtases of past but I am excited for the future and all the good things that it holds. I hope that this Christmas season is good to all of you that read this blog and have shared your stories and feedback. I hope that you are able to spend some time with all those who are near and dear to you. I know I am wrapping myself not in presents but in those who have done so very much for me. If I don’t get a chance to blog between now and Christmas have a very merry holiday seaon and thank you all for your support.