Oh my goodness. I don’t know about you but man o man it’s been hectic here and I’m feeling the Christmas rush. I just realized that I haven’t added anything useful to the blog in a good couple days. so I’d like to post something that I think may be relevant for this time of year. Since Sydney has so many food allergies it’s always a challenge when we’re going anywhere to eat. The idea about cleaning your plate or I give you something to cry about does not reign in our family. Quite often when Sydney will not eat something it’s for a good reason, but as well when the kids feel that they are full I don’t think there should be a big deal about it. On December 4th Brenda Bradshaw – author of “The Good Food Book for Families” introduced us to this wonderful book. She’s been kind enough to share with us an article about mealtime anxiety and how to avoid situations that arise at the table. Just in time for Christmas a good article and thank you Brenda for contributing with such good information.
Avoiding Mealtime Anxiety
Many healthy young children have small appetites, generally eating fewer and smaller serving of food. While a normal part of childhood for many, this can be very stressful for both parents and children. When faced with such a predicament many parents find themselves resorting to bribery, pressure and even worse – force feeding. This can be anxiety provoking for children, and result in them becoming revolted or turned off food. Those who are anxious about eating can develop feeding problems or even eating disorders. Research tells us that children who are pressured to eat often eat less
One of the easiest ways to avoid mealtime anxiety is to adopt Ellyn Satter’s “division of responsibility in feeding.” Ellyn Satter, as well know dietician and author, says:
“Parents are responsible for what is presented to eat and the manner in which it is presented. Children are responsible for how much and even whether they eat.”1
This “division of responsibility in feeding,” may seem like a novel and frightening concept to many parents. However, it can relieve much of the anxiety that surrounds feeding. Parents no longer feel the need to get their children to finish everything on their plate and children will come to the table happily, knowing their choices will be respected.
This division of responsibility however, means that parents should have an understanding of nutrition and offer appropriate healthy options, in an environment where the children feel supported in their food choices. Those who feel supported are more likely to try different foods.
As adults, we tend to avoid foods we do not like and children naturally do the same. Kids control very little in their lives; what they put in their mouths is one of the few exceptions. Children who feel pressured to eat tend to eat less. If forced, they will likely remember the experience and be reluctant to try new foods again. Children who are allowed to decide what to eat will be more willing to try new foods in the future. It is best to avoid getting into battles over food; force feeding almost always backfires.
Young children tend to be fickle when it comes to food. Don’t conclude your child dislikes a food because it has been rejected, even a few times. Many parents say their children do not like fish, but it is a dietary staple in some cultures. Most Inuit children, for example eat fish because they are repeatedly served it from an early age. If you want your child to like a certain food, keep offering it in a relaxed environment. As many as 10 to 20 exposures may be required before a new food is accepted. Be reassured that with each exposure, the chance of acceptance improves.
Equally important is to lead by example. Children learn from what we do, not what we say. Consider evaluating your own relationship with food. Eat regular meals together as a family, and make healthy choices yourself. Those who have healthy eating habits are more likely to inspire them in their children.
Understanding the “division of responsibility of feeding” is one thing, but implementing it is quite another. Most parents of healthy eaters will probably find they are already applying this approach. When preparing a meal, this means creating a number of nutritious dishes and allowing the children to help themselves. Obviously, it is important that there are some choices you know your children will like. For example, a meal might consist of a portion of meat, three vegetables and a glass of milk. If you are concerned that there won’t be enough for your child to eat, serve the meal with whole grain bread – it’s filling and most children like it. If your child is still hungry, offer fruit and/or yogurt for dessert. Since children tend to like fruit, always have a variety of fresh fruits on hand.
Implementing the “division of responsibility of feeding” does not mean becoming a short-order cook. Try not to offer substitutions, such as a grilled cheese sandwich instead of chicken. This can be a slippery slope that leaves you making several different meals each night. Children need to understand that mealtimes are for eating. If they choose not to eat, the next meal or scheduled snack will not be too far away. Raising a healthy eater takes perseverance and dedication, but the dividends will last a lifetime.
If you continue to be concerned about your child’s nutritional intake, see your doctor. He or she will likely plot your child’s growth and weight on a standardized growth curve and likely reassure you that all is well.
Much of above passage is excerpted from “The Good Food Book for Families” (Random House)by Brenda Bradshaw and Cheryl Mutch MD. This user friendly book contains 150 tasty, healthy recipes and great ideas for school lunches, snacks and family meals. The only book based on Canada’s new Food Guide, it also includes sidebars on topics such as allergies and the best foods for brain development
