It’s not easy being a sibling sometimes. I try really hard as a parent to treat my children equally albeit this social anxiety thing has thrown a bit of a kink into my parenting plans. I try, God knows I try to make sure that I give equal praise and equal punishments for poor behaviour but I sometimes think that I walked on a few more eggshells with Sydney. One would never know what exactly would trigger her off and I always felt mean to say, “Suck it up and deal with it” (not in exactly those words but you get my drift). So inevitably big brother sometimes gets the butt end of the deal.  He really is a great big brother. He tries his best to be accomodating, forgiving, understanding and encouraging. I never had siblings and I thrive on seeing the two of them get along and work together. Sometimes though despite his best efforts he just can’t convince her to join him and he gets so disappointed and frustrated.

That’s exactly what happened today. We went to an indoor carnival area for kids and when we got there Sydney did run ahead with her brother to look at everything. We waited in line for the tickets and the three of us discussed what things they wanted to do. He had it all planned out and kept asking Sydney, “Do you want to go on that with me?” “What about that?” as he pointed to each and explained what would happen.

It was our turn and as we approached the ticket counter it was clear that Sydney was more than happy to watch him and it was clear that he was disappointed that we’d be waiting on the sidelines as he went on things alone. Occasions like these are most frustrating on all of us. Sydney clearly is thinking things through a million times over because you can tell by the contemplative look on her face and her repetition of “I don’t know what to do”. Her brother tries with all of his might and sometimes it sounds like he’s in her head saying exactly what she’s thinking. I’m left to stand by Sydney and help her talk through the situation and watch what he’s doing. I feel like the literal meaning of between a rock and hard place!

It’s so tough when one child is outgoing and ready to leap even before he looks and the other is anxious and over thinks every last move.

In the end we convinced her to go on the carousel twice albeit sitting on the bench not on a horse but at least we were all together and then she went through the play area. He tired to get Sydney up the big slide and it was priceless, hand in hand they climbed up the big stairs as I waited for them at the bottom. How horrifying to hear your child crying through the vortex of the slide and being far away. The two of them came walking back down the stairs the same way they went up, holding the hand of his petrified sister who had a red face and tears streaming down to her chin. She came over to me and explained through the tears that she got up to the top and she just couldn’t do it. That’s okay she at least tried. Poor big brother, my heart went out to him. I think he really thought she’d go down the slide with him and he got so excited as the two of them tore up to the top.

Maybe one day she’ll surprise him, maybe one day she’ll run in front of him and catch him totally off guard. In the meantime I have to commend him for being the person he is and being understanding so much of the time. I’m sure his patience and tolerance willl serve him well in the future because I can guarantee you  that Sydney would not have come so far if he wasn’t who he is.