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Monthly Archives: June 2008

The last night at the old house

June 26, 2008   admin   No comments

Well, I have my son beside me fast asleep, my daughter snoring to the other side and a husband who is still tossing around a bit to get settled and now I have one last chance to take in this old place. Oh the memories that this place has lent itself too. From happiness to suprise, sadness to grief each part of this house tells a story. The front room is where I spent countless hours rocking, walking and singing my dear sweet Sydney to sleep. The dining room is where we took a picture of our son only 5 months old holding his first turkey leg (for posterity only, the leg was as big as his arm). The basement TV room was where Ehren spent many a day cuddled in his Babci’s arms while Sydney cried relentlessly in my arms upstairs. It is amazing to me now as I look back on all the morter and cement that this place is so hard to leave behind.

All signs are leading to us having made the right decision, the new school has been fantastic, the house is beautiful, the backyard is already being prepared for many a weekend visitor and it all seems so right. But today while Sydney took charge of the video camera and went around the house taping things as she saw them, I quickly jumped back 35 years or so to the old giggly movie camera my father had taping me taking my first steps along the side of the house. I felt the house today. I thanked the house today. I leave a piece of my heart behind with this house tonight. I hope that for Sydney and Ehren (especially Sydney) that this move will help them in the future. I hope that all the opportunities that we are unable to have here will happen in the new house. I hope for all the things you wish for any children. I wish for Sydney to be happy.

So I bid a fond farewell to the house that I was raised in, the house that gave me such warm shelter, the place that helped me become the person I am today. I draw strength from knowing that as a family we will be able to overcome all the anxiety over new surroundings. I still will shed a tear but I have my life of memories within me and I hope to pass on the strength that my parents instilled in me into my children. For heavens sake if my father could leave all of his family behind and come to a foreign country not knowing the language or the culture than surely I can leave this house behind and only be 20 minutes away from those closest to me.

 

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Good news about the new school…

June 19, 2008   admin   No comments

We had the meeting this afternoon with the new school for Syd and the meeting went absolutely beautifully. They were all sooo supportive. The resource teacher actually made Syd a 5 page little booklet that says “Sydney’s going to Grade 1”. Inside it has a page with her teacher’s picture, a picture of the school and a bunch of other stuff. They gave us a video called a “Transitional video” that will  help with the transition into the school. They wanted to know what works best for Syd and stuff. For me the thing that impressed me the most was shortly after we got in there the principle said, “okay so we’ve read her file and see on paper what  Syd is all about but tell us about her!” WHAT …YOU CARE ABOUT HER…THE STUDENT…THE ONE WHO IS GOING TO BE ATTENDING THE SCHOOL.. It was unbelievable. Plus they wanted us to be aware that because of her anxiety it may be an impediment in determining scores for report card purposes and said that around October we’ll have to discuss with her teacher how we best accommodate that in order to find her true potential. As well, the Psychologist that is involved in the Halton version of George Hull (it’s called ROCK), she specializes in children with anxiety. We have already today signed a consent form for the schools therapist so that if we need any additional resources she’s already assigned to us and can get the ball rolling.

 

It was unreal. We were heard, we were speaking together not talked down to. We initiated ideas, they accepted them. THEY suggested that we come and visit the school multiple times after August 18th (as that’s when the school is open to the teachers) and suggested that we visit the classroom a number of times. I asked her present school to do that in her JK year and I was blown off faster than you’d swat a fly). We felt so welcome.  Even our counsellor (from George Hull ) was just overjoyed.

 

They suggested if you can believe it that we have a communication book where we can keep ahead of ideas and strategies so that Sydney isn’t around to hear anything that would make her feel uncomfortable. You mean we shouldn’t tell her what a poor job she’s doing in front of her? The mindset is just so different.

 

One of the resource teachers even suggested that with her delayed speech everything for her would be a little further behind but that’s okay. AND…yes there is an AND…in the Halton board there are certain schools that are called members of “TRIBE” . It specifically states that if a student does not want to answer the teacher when being called on they have the “right” (imagine that a child has rights), they have a right to say, “Pass” and it is not considered bad or in poor behaviour or stupidity it’s just their right if they feel uncomfortable to pass. They say it’s worked wonderfully and the kids that are a little intimidated eventually come around…….what….are you serious….yay us…yay Sydney.

 

So all in all it went really well and although I will miss a number of people here so much boy oh boy does it make me feel invited and welcome. What a lovely change!

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Class Picnic… hit and miss

June 14, 2008   admin   No comments

Today marked the last few weeks of school with the traditional year end picnic in the park. As we anxiously discussed the details, Sydney packed up her own snack carefully selecting each item and it stayed in the fridge until this afternoon. She was excited and continuously told everyone around her that we were going on a picnic and it won’t be cancelled as long as the sun stays out. I have to admit I had high hopes for this afternoon. Sydney seemed very comfortable with the idea tha tit was not the classroom, that her friends would be playing and that it was a chance to have fun. Today was a good day but like the swings not without it’s ups and downs.

The upcoming move is taking a toll on both the kids but the last couple days there has been more tears and more fits of unexplainable upset (although we all know it’s root cause). Most days the off/on emotions I can handle and I feel like a good parent in trying to resolve them but today, perhaps it was my exhaustion, my feelings of reluctance, my stress that Sydney was feeding off of and perhaps today I just didn’t feel that nurturing but man oh man it took all of my being not to just look into her eyes and say, ” what is wrong, why on earth won’t you co-operate, get a grip people just want to play and be your friend and for the love of snoopy why won’t you have your picture taken?”. Quite often my SAD child remind me of a snail in the shell, only when they know that all the danger is far away do they peer out to see what’s around them.  Most days I can handle it, I feel in control but today challenged me.

It wasn’t until later on in the picnic did she finally take a picture with the sweetest little boy in her class. It’s priceless but like that swing one minute up was overshadowed by two minutes down. Sometimes I want to give up, sometimes I wish that my daughter was like every other child and played freely, posed with her gorgeous smile without resentment and tears but that’s not her, that’s not who she is. I had a “mommy moment” today that made me feel like I had been defeated. Have I?

While walking back to school she told me that she had a great time at the picnic and I honestly makes me wonder what goes on in that cranium of her’s. Perhaps one day she’ll share. In the meantime I’m holding on to the picture of her and the one and only little boy that made her smile today!

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Highs and Lows

June 10, 2008   admin   No comments

So today was for sure a low and I think we’ve hit a bit of a low point. Over the last couple days we’ve gone through moments. These moments involve unexplainable bouts of crying and mood swings. We are all experiencing it to be honest. Syd’s put up a good front so far but now the countdown has begun and the stress of the end of school combined with people around her saying how much they’ll miss us I sometimes feel like crying.  But we have to move forward and if there is anything that I’ve learned lately it’s that I just have to ride the wave. Understanding that each day for the next little while might require a little more cuddling and a moment to let her just cry.  I’m beginning to see the fog come in and I sure do hope we can all ride past it and come out the other side!

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The new school and new clothes

June 06, 2008   admin   No comments

Well, we did it. We went to the school the other day. Sydney and her brother couldn’t wait for the car to stop to race towards the front doors. Barrelling into each other as they reached the entrance Syd followed her big brothers lead and walked right into her new school without looking back. We walked right into the school’s office and were greeted by very nice ladies. Each of them was asked what grade they would be in once September came and Sydney whispered like a little lark “I don’t remember”. I prompted her by putting up a finger for one and she looked right at the secretary and said, “I’m going to be in grade one”.

Can you believe it.  When you are raising a socially anxious child you see little glimpses of progress and honestly it makes you want to cry. 

New environment

Totally new people

New house just around the corner

Perhaps a new perspective is just what is needed for my darling little one. She didn’t require a hand to hold, instead she trudged forward peering into the classrooms and admiring the new digs. She even saw a book in the library and explained to us how she has the same book in her “old” school. 

Oh and did I mention that she’s wearing new clothes each day. To most of us changing our clothes is just part of life but to Syd her favourite clothes was what would comfort her, enable her to have a good day. As long as they were clean and even if I had to wash them every night I would. Don’t sweat the small stuff came in to play. Why bother being upset about it and causing major conflict when she has a favourite piece of clothing and it means the difference between happiness and utter dread. Well, I can always tell when she’s feeling more confident and I don’t think she’s ever used up this many clothes in her whole toddler life. Every day she finds an outfit and proudly waltzes out of her room every morning asking, “well how do I look?” Each day I tell her she is beautiful and each most days she wakes up happy. What more could I want?

 

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